Ok hello. I know I'm supposed to be studying EHistory but I kinda feel like writing. Anyway, here goes;
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I feel
friendless. Okay maybe not meaning that I've got absolutely no friends, or not that everyone in this entire world is my enemy, but sometimes I get this feeling that nobody(with the exception of my parents) actually realises that I exist.
What if tomorrow I suddenly dropped dead on my own accord. Would anyone notice me absent? Would anyone try calling me at home just to find out how I am? Would anyone even notice my empty desk in school, or the lack of my presence? Maybe some would, but how many actually even care? I just seem to be blending into the background; just a silhouette that flashed past them. How many people cross your path in your life? How many have made an imprint on that path, and how many do you actually remember? Are all those people just people that you know, and forget?
A few days back I was walking back home when I walked pass this girl. I saw her from afar immediately I recognised that face. One of the many people that I shared my childhood with, back then when my friends still referred to me as "Joy Joy". I cannot remember when it was - either kindergarten or lower primary, yet still I noticed that familliar look, that familliar smile. Denise, that was her name. She may not have recognised me, yet still I felt warmed that somehow I happened to cross her path that day.
Sometimes I wonder, ten, or even twenty years down the road, would I still be in contact with the friends whom I've shared so many happy moments of my life with? On a trip back to my primary school earlier this day, I met up with a few friends. I was glad to see them, yet disappointed that my 4 other close friends in Primary 6 were not back to visit. We're all leading different lives, walking down different paths. Wouldn't it be great to have a reunion, and catch up on all the gossip we've lost out on? I still vividly recall the memories with them, as children, barely 5 feet tall, skivvying out of classes and hanging out in the toilet; or even jostling up the temporary staircase to our classes, making a din as our feet trampled on the rough metal surface. Going to each others' houses and baking Blues Clues cookies for our teachers on Teachers' Day.
A friend, as defined in the dictionary, is someone whom you know and like, and enjoy spending time with. Yet to me, a friend is much more than that. A friend shouldn't be someone whom you get to know for a few years of your life, then forgetting him/her. A friend shouldn't be just a random person crossing your path. They say that "Friendships last Forever". I beg to differ. To find a friend - a true friend - who acknowledges your existence, and actually gets along well with you is hard to find. A friend who would stay your friend for the rest of your lifetime is even more rare - even rarer than the rarest of treasures.
I'd love to find such a friend. It saddens me that the people whom I was once close with aren't even in contact with me anymore, and it saddens me further still, that life's like that. Friends never (please prove me wrong) last forever.
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Sorry, I'm not trying to be emotional. I was just pondering over such issues, and everything just poured out. Anyway, hope you people give this some thought.
Labels: Friends don't last forever
8:50 PM